Why Love is not enough

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Last week while my blog crossed 10,000 page views I started feeling that I have had answers to many questions now. But God must be smiling at my over-wisdom and then an anonymous pinged me using the chat back service of my blog. The guest said she was a young woman from Bangalore. In my archetypal way I asked what your query mam?  She typed “Why love is not enough?”

  

The question did frisson my whole body. I might have written a thousand pages but at that moment I haven’t had a clear reply to her query. I knew the night would be long, so I prepared my coffee first. That night ‘Ria’ (I shall use this name as alibi) narrated her story to me, initially over chat and then rest over skype.

All love stories fall more or less in same pattern but the twinge of love is equally proportional to affection in your heart. I will try my best to engrave as it would have happened in real life but same time “no great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist”.

Ria works for a multinational call centre where she met Neeraj. Both joined on same day and during initial training period they became good friends. Like most other fairy-tales they too didn’t realise when that bowed into something “more than friendship”.

It was Neeraj who proposed her on the next Valentines day. Ria said it was best day of her life , the day she realised someone cared for her so much. Neeraj was definitely romantic I must say. He decorated his room in red, the roof were full with helium filled heart filled balloons where red candles and rose pallets completed the surface like heaven. With heart shape cake and wine on hand when Neeraj proposed her, she couldn’t say no. She never felt so special in her life. Slowly their lips met and then they followed to the bed. Ria lost something the day but she gained many more things.

Within a week Ria shifted to his flat and started staying live-in. Life became a endless source of happiness, going office together, coming back and preparing dinner together, everything was pink back then. Slowly Ria started learning new dishes and became a “virtual wife” of Neeraj. Only the holy thread and some chanting part were missing in their ‘complete’ relationship.

Like that months and then one year passed, they were a ‘perfect couple’ and inspired many more. Folks say some people are meant for each other, exactly same people said about Ria and Neeraj but alas God must be crazy and he had some different plans.

Neeraj was a great guy in all aspect, a complete man but only thing that Ria found uncomfortable in him was his ignorance about marriage. Every time she tried to bring up the topic he took her in his arms and closed her lips with his. Ria could live like this if not her parents started looking groom for her. When she started pressurising Neeraj for marriage the silky relation went into turmoil. Initially Ria too avoided pressurising too much but then two years passed, slowly the sweetie relation became a hangover for them. Neeraj was clear from beginning that he was not ready for marriage, Ria thought with time he might change but that didn’t happen.

“There is no pain like seeing the people changing, and love dying” exactly these sentence Ria told me over skype. I was clueless how to help her.

She loved him more than herself, selfless love, and he also loved her, but then why they didn’t marry. Is a person’s ego so big that he decided to call it an end after two years?

Though I knew what would be her answer still I asked Ria “What is more important in life? Career, money, status, fun and sex or a peaceful life?”

She said “Peaceful life with someone I love”

I could have said her that different people have different priorities in life. May be Neeraj wanted a fun filled life and Ria agreed to it but when Ria wants to get married he saw it as end of fun filled life and freedom.  Irony is that we all perceive the same thing from our point of view. You may say the glass is half empty or you can spot it as half full.

I decided not to give the ‘gyan’ to Ria then and there, how I controlled my eagerness I only know but then for next few days slowly slowly over chat I asked her few more questions and it was pretty clear that Neeraj sees marriage as end of freedom. What to suggest her?

I am not a common friend of them who can make Neeraj understand, I wish I were. Friends are really important to make peace sometime, without them life sucks.  Ria was too devastated on the fact that how Neeraj could do that? Why he didn’t come to take her back when she shifted to new places. On contrary Neeraj thinks why Ria left him , does she really loved him ?

Another great couple separated because their ego was more than their life, Few people never realise until its gone.

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”

Really at times I think Why Love is not enough, what you say?