Why we feel Guilty

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So many roles we perform in life - a son, brother, friend, boy friend, husband, dad, mentor, teacher and may more, but irrespective of that we have an own life, not as a character but as a human being, our inner self which has its own voice, mostly quiet. A lot of things we want to do for the society, the extended family we live in. Sometime when we see the ugly truths we want to fight them. I want people to know that “truths have no shades and it’s wrong, very wrong to modify the truths according to our wish”. I want my self to feel guilty if I have done a wrong and would like others too feel the same, only then we can do better next time.

Crossroad is a bad thing, may be most evil fad. You can choose only one way and cast off the rest then if in future your decision turns out bad it becomes a big mental turmoil. You fritter most of the time regretting your judgment and what would be if you have chosen any of those other ways.  Don’t most of us think like the same? But there are some populace who are beyond all these, who never feel sorry, my apologies this post if then not suitable for you then. Rest of aam janta can however continue.

Have it happened to you too? You regret something you have done, or something you could and you didn’t. I had a friend who could never say his girl how much he loved. On her wedding day he drank for first time, but it was late, but I guess not too late. Later the girl committed suicide due to family issue, her husband happened to be an insane person. But my friend by no means went on a date with another girl and certainly got married.  Almost all bartenders in Bangalore know him, a very good person but carrying a load, a heavy one called ‘Guilt’. He did no wrong but the guilt feel never left him, He considers himself responsible for her death.

He may be one of his kinds, but sometime we feel guilt after doing something wrong. “Guilt” according to Wikipedia is a state of being responsible for something off beam, it’s an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes that he or she has violated some moral standard.

We all do one of more immoral things, sometime we realise and most of the times we don’t. Every person has a tendency to reinforce their judgements but truth has no shades. There is no escape from that.  Early or late most of us undergo through a stage when we realize the mistakes we have done and what that have cost to others. Believe me there is no worse consciousness than it. It gives rise to a feeling which does not go away easily.

Philosophers say a continuous clash take place inside each of us. A scuffle between good and evil, a struggle to overcome the evil temptations of life. All of us were born with a sense of right and wrong, that petite voice inside us tell whats right and wrong. This conscience is deeply rooted inside every heart and mind of every human being which causes the constant feelings of guilt when we act contrary to moral or we hurt someone.

We may tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be bothers much about others, but why we need to tell that to ourselves in the first place ? Deep inside our consciousness tells our mind what we are doing could be wrong and then mind send out signals we try to overpower our own consciousness with arguments. The world is not, our mind is the biggest evil for us like in the case of my friend, who drinks every night because he feels guilty. No one forces him to live an agony life, but he chooses the same, the guilt feeling never goes. It’s a constant fight between our heart and mind, between the decisions we take and the truth and its worst when we know someone is living a miserable life just because of us and that person have to bear that whole his/her life just because we acted selfish. There is no awful feeling than this, no pain more tolerable.

Sometime we can also feel guilty about events for which they are not responsible. This false guilt can be equally caustic, if not more so. Feeling guilty for events which are out of our control is often unproductive and detrimental.

However a moment or two girls do feel guilty out of nothing.  It’s true every woman has a secret world inside of them. All of the women of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, splendid, wonderful, stupid, amazing world. Not just one world. Hundreds of them, thousands maybe and their mother like senses makes them feel more guilty out of smallest mistake they do.  We can’t change that feeling but it’s true that the same wisdom makes them a better mother.

This post is not to criticise anyone or any event. It’s a try to make people be acquainted with the fact that when we do something, its not we are then only one who is effected, there could be others too who can get ‘affected’ too.

Share this if you feel worth sharing.

Mere sine mein nehi, to tere sine me sahi, woh kahan bhi ho aag, lekin aag jalni Chhahiye.