Flying Upside Down

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“It is going to be a long flight, If you want any special assistance, please do let us know” Air Hostess’s voice was somehow comforting. Will I be able to make it? The doubt was crippling inside my mind & stomach. Lets see, I smiled at her and closed my eyes. I heard the flight taking off.

One month back when I arrived at the same airport I was much less confident about myself. The travel came out of a surprise, much late than I anticipated. Sometime being late doesn’t mean anything, I was already late for my first official trip, but my firm made sure it was luxurious.

The first step inside the lush hotel room made me somehow gloomy, the feeling of spending next four weeks alone made me sick. Rightly said money can’t buy you everything, you need people to spend time with. But last two weeks had changed me, for the second time in life I faced the fear of dying.

Two-Week Back

San Francisco was chilly especially around the evening, walking by the side of 101 highway was great joy. One night I felt little cold while in sleep, but the blanket was warm enough, but then in two days I was burning with hundred and three degrees.

Many a times I thought to dial nine one one that night but I wanted to bear the extremity of my pain and so I could compare if physical pain could ever me more excruciating than the pain of a shattered soul. Every time the cramp inside my stomach jolted me or I vomited, I smiled, there is nothing dangerous than a person with broken heart, he knows how to survive, I too knew.

The look of Doctor Ralphe was blank. He didn’t know how to tell it to me, he was not even sure what the report said . When I said my dad is a doctor , he handed the reports to me, I couldn’t believe it was mine, My score card were never so screwed, Bilirubin levels of my blood was abnormally high.

The he asked me “ How far is your home?”

All of a sudden I felt like a commando caught in enemy territory, the only way out was closed when he requested me to call home and ask someone to come. I hardly shed tears but I really hoped someone was by my side that time.  I never felt ho helpless; there were a few who could board the next flight if I had called but I decided to stay back at Hotel and visit clinics for tests than getting admitted to hospital. Then the nurse gave me my diet chart and it was virtually blank. The only three things written over there was impossible for me to eat. I tried and vomited and then I found the holy water “Gatorade”. For next seven days it kept me living. The only time I left bed was to pee . The cool stars on the ceiling were my only friend.

Earlier Today

Two weeks and eight kilos that I had lost recently and countless dollars of hospital bills pending in my credit card, but I had enough. If I were to die I would love to die in India only , I requested my doctor but he didn’t agree with me but that didn’t stop me to book my tickets.

Had heard about restraining orders , and I didn’t know if the doctor could issue it, but I had my heart beating faster until the front wheel of the flight took off ground . Next fifteen hours to Dubai and then another four to India. I knew it was going to be the longest journey of my life when everything was upside down.

Bella was the special flight attendant for the people in need, to my surprise she had non-alcoholic energy drinks for me as meal as I requested. The stomach cramps wouldn’t let me sit or sleep but at 33000 feet above there were little alternate than chatting with flight attendants at the read of the flight and I found them more real than our Indian counterparts who think themselves as last beauty crown holder.

Well, I reached Dubai and then to India. I never felt like home at Kolkata Airport before. In next two hours I had my next flight to catch. I suddenly felt like a bash of energy entered into me with the first breath of home air. I knew I would survive this too. I had become a dangerous man after all.