The Seven Stages of Love

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Read it somewhere ~

When women fall in love, it’s filled with bursts of happiness and miss-you texts.

When men fall in love, well, it’s just different.

For centuries for men, falling in love is a blissful experience, but many of we don’t know that ‘love’ doesn’t really kick in for a while. While women may experience an intense surge of affections as soon as they meet a guy they like, the mind of men doesn’t really work that way, it has got lots of inertia, it works same as Beer works, slowly it just happens. There are some “Love” stories where they never told each other but they always knew it was there but for one reason or other they choose to keep it that way always. Why? I just don’t know.

Within every love story hides the wooing of the gods and goddesses. This is one area of life where the practical meets the mythical. For many people the experience of romantic love is their first experience of spirituality, although they may not know it.

Like everything else love too pursue a pattern and seeing one you may tell at what stage he or she is. But the course of love is different in Western countries and in India, where we don’t jump into bed so quickly, may be never with someone we love.

Since the days of Lord Krishna love has given a higher position in our society when its in its purest form. Now after talking to so many guys, I realized, Love never happens at first sight, It’s a myth. We all go through a process and when we at least reach the 5^th stage we may actually say “Aha ! I am in Love” . Like Ranjhanna (the movie which touched me largely) The Saga called Love starts with…

Hub (Attraction/Appreciation)

Many people believe it is all about physical appearance, may be true coz study tells most people, especially boys starts liking a girl even before talking to a girl! But we men are rather shallow when it comes to getting attracted at first sight while women may fall in love in the first conversation.  

Man love what they see and Woman love what they hear

May be for that reason Woman wears makeup and Man do lie.

Physical appearance is vital for any men, but it may not essentially be the whole and only thing. Each guy has his own preferences in what he likes about a woman, be it her face, hey eyes, silky or twisted hair, her legs, her smile or even the way she runs her hands through her hair. She doesn’t have to a princess or a model like. She just have to have a thing that keeps him awake all night.

They say love is blind, true. A guy may not even know what it is about a girl that he likes, but if he finds something attractive in her, he may experience the appreciation stage. This is the inception phase and it may happen ‘n’ number of times.

The Law of Attraction states, “To be attractive, you have to be authentic.” And the wisdom traditions tell us that attraction first and foremost comes from naturalness. Nothing is more beautiful than naturalness. 

Uns (Infatuation)

The very second stage, Infatuation happens when the attraction between two people is so intense that it transports them beyond ordinary perception and the ordinary world becomes enchanted. Suddenly the rain becomes more romantic and in every song you find yourself, in every face you try to find her.  Like the Saathiya song “Doston se Jhuti muti, doosto ka naam leke, phir Apni hi Baatein Karna”.

In reality, Men appreciate a lot of women on a daily basis. They try to steal second glances or get a girl’s attention all the time. But it’s not always a success, either because he’s not trying hard enough or because the woman’s just not interested in him. The infatuation stage of how men fall in love is also the wooing stage of love for men.

A man may pursue a woman in various ways, but if she doesn’t accept his advances he usually forgets the girl as just another attractive girl he wanted to go out with. It’s easier for a man to like a girl one day and forget that he ever liked her next because he has so many stages to deal with before he even makes up his mind on falling in love but for Woman its different, its like they don’t go through all these stages.

Ishq (Attraction/Communion)

Here starts the game, until now it was mostly one-way communication, but when an attractive girl reciprocates to a guy’s advances, he enters into the attraction stage of love. Until this stage, a guy can walk away from a girl without any pain or heartbreak even if the girl rejects him. He’s not really trying too hard, and he’s not really fallen in love to care about a rejection when he’s just trying to get lucky.

But if a girl does show the slightest sign of reciprocation or consideration in the guy, or even if he assumes she’s into him, the guy digs deep into this stage, the stage. In this stage, he decides to pursue the girl and make her like him. In this ‘attraction’, lovers move into territory of the unknown, taking from each other what they did not possess alone.

Adiqat (Reverence/Impression)

Understanding how men fall in love is complicated stuff, but quite frankly, he’s nowhere close to falling in love right now even in this stage. All he wants to do is make the girl like him. He shows off his mating potential to her. He wears matching shirts, he try to show good things about him and do everything he can do make himself represent-able in front of her. He plans ideas to go out with her and splurges on gifts to please the girl. Even now He’s definitely not in love, but he does want something superior to come out of this stage of impressions.

Ibaadat (Worship)

Now, here comes the stage when you start changing your habits, when a guy wakes up he knows the day would give him chance to see her, he rouses up with a hope which is all about her. He is no more the same guy like before once he enters this stage, he knows there is something good for him out there and he is no more the same old freak wearing old t shirts. He starts putting her before him, giving her the preference. Many people can tell you are in love seeing your changed attitude and nature.

Its hard after this, may be the next stage is when people actually fall in love, people will differ here, but love never starts without the feeling of a pain and here it comes.

Junoon (Obsession)

Junoon and the SRK style drams like Daar and Anjam  goes hand in hand.  One becomes so much obsessed with someone that nothing else matters for him. For a guy he never has been more serious in life when in this stage. It’s a life changing phase when he does everything she wants from him. A guy can never reach this stage if not a girl reciprocates to his actions. This is the time when two becomes one. The attraction becomes physical, he tough, and her warmth matters. He wants to be with her always. More the obsession deeper the love becomes. With time, two hearts become One. Many of those couple truly find their soul mates.

Maut (Death)

Every love stories doesn’t have a perfect ending. Love actually is a blissful experience and real, like every real things love too die one day, or at best it dies with the person. There is many couple who couldn’t live after one of them died. Many people commit suicide when they fail in love. But from lots of experiences around I can tell you something for sure. “Love never fails, we fail.” And if we fail that doesn’t mean we can’t triumph again. It could be painful, but remember

We don’t love a person, we love the thought of a person

and we love how they treat us, how they understand us.

Love itself is a mystery; you never know when it happens? But it takes time, and once you discover love, you can't help but feel thrilled about the secret message, much like the secret codes in Da Vinci's painting.

P.S : At least fall in Love once in your life with a person who keep you ahead of everything else. It’s a  rare privilege of life , who knows when you are lucky.