The Great Indian Arranged Marriage : The Girl's Version

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The Great Indian Arranged Marriage : Girl's Version

Every women has a secret world inside of them. All of the women of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, splendid, wonderful, stupid, amazing world. Not just one world. Hundreds of them, thousands maybe.

Dedicating this post to all the girls who came & went and who stayed in my life. Who have spent memorable time with me as mother, sisters, friends, guide, well wisher and secret and social admires.

This post for the Womanhood which bestow endless possibilities.

“I read once about a woman whose secret fantasy was to have an affair with an artist. She thought he would really see her. He would see every curve, every line and every indentation and love them because they were part of the beauty that made her unique.”

Indian mothers have secured utmost ranking among their global peers by showing unmatched love, care, sincere and scarifies. Needless to say they were all girls like my friends someday. Do these unparallel characteristics develop in just one day? Or it is in every girl and flourishes when they become woman? Whatever be the fact, they are the best.

They say a Woman lives three life, one at her parental home, as wife and as a mother, each role has its own demand which craft them near perfect, classy and wise while on the other side all men only care for one thing, Wait, It doesn’t start with a S, its Prestige I wanted to say.

Arranged Marriage as I mentioned in my last blog, is the trend in India since centuries and should stay, it’s in the root of our culture and definitely got the good aspects in it. I would have elaborated if only I had words for it.

Girls do dream more than boys as they know after marriage they will have a new life. Happy or sad they always look for their marriage since early age. Is not “Doll Marriages” are proof of that why Girls do take marriage so seriously? It’s a life changing event for them but alas in our country they have very little liberty choosing their life partners in so called Arranged Marriage.

The end of teens is an alarm for the parents and then the biggest search starts. A nice groom who earns well, doesn’t drink (which implies he won’t beat his wife) and smoke, good family background and all. But what the girl wants is highly ignored in most of the cases. Their aspirations, their dreams all remain secrets which even wiki leaks can’t discover. The girl who topped the class over hundred of boys became a simple housewife. The dream of flying the jet planes, walking on the ramp remains a dream.

In most household moms tell the girl that their life is about to scarifies, few listen to them and become Jaya Bacchan while the revolutionary become Silk.

Boys family visit to see (read inspect) the girl, ask her few sweet and salty questions, eat Samosa and go. As soon they come out of the premise the Aunties from boys side use the freedom of speech to the fullest to dissect the girl through words, pointless to say, only few elaborate the good aspects of the wanna be bride.

The process goes on and on until someone feels the girl is worth him. This ‘him’ in this scene may be another piece, one of its kind. He has also travelled the same long arranged marriage story and might be frustrated and lately said yes.

In reality the girls are still considered as commodity in Indian Culture, more than a living person, they are treated as someone who can cook, who can raise children and make sure the your dresses are properly ironed.

The path of arranged marriage is tougher for a girl than a boy. She would be living her life with a new family whom she doesn’t know. The risk she takes is big and uncertainty rules every step.

A simple hearted talented girl agreed to share her story as anonymous. More or less every girl has similar kind of experience.

I had fear of meeting a ‘stranger’, every girl of my age would have. How could I meet someone in front of my elders and answers his questions. But still I had to. There would be thousand things running in a girl’s mind during a visit (May be a few things in a guy’s mind) since I was to adjust in guy’s and in his family life. It’s a life changing event for a me

First  I had to shortlist boys photos and then the background verification was done by my parents, till then it was fun but when it came to meeting the guy I became nervous, very much. And then my Grand mom made the situation worse by forcing me to wear a saree.. Isshh what a pathetic condition I had landed. Most of the time my attention was on my saree in case it falls down. I was so irritated and his photo was not like tom cruise either, I decided to say No to him as he comes but then the miracle happened.

Most boys say Yes for a girl’s look and they even don’t even asked for my general characteristic, likings, way of living, and mainly my feelings and aspirations. At most one guy asked about hobbies and what food I like and in extreme case one enquired  if I was willing to work after marriage or not.

I think if its “arranged marriage” when its without girl’s consent. But sometimes even in arranged marriage people fall in love. I suddenly felt something and said YES (Still don’t know why J ). Actually his silence attracted me I guess. For d first time a guy with specs attracted me that way when she asked what I wanted to be in life.

You can judge one person but not a whole family in a couple of visits and making the new house as a home is always difficulty. But I will advice others to be bold enough after marriage to answer and manage things well since it will avoid suffering inside themselves.

For a Girl selecting a guy according to her wish is not a very difficult task but choosing a family who ready to accept her like a daughter is the most difficult thing. There are few unlucky people who don’t realize it, I pity for them and for everyone else there is someone somewhere. Happy Searching.

Happy Reading.

Life is Beautiful, sometime Sweet, sometime Salty.

PRitAm


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